Sitting in Jamaica at my best friends wedding. He’s a brother to me. I realized that everything in my life is always tomorrow. The only consistent and definite accomplishments in my life have come from the involvement with others. Being the best man in someones wedding is amazing. Being the best man at a brothers wedding is a tear jerker. Watching someone you grew up with take another big step in life can also be an eye opener. For me it threw my consciousness into shock. Always tomorrow; friendships, football, relationships, work, careers, school, errands, artwork, you name it and i’ll get it done tomorrow. Then today came and I can barely sleep. restless beyond comprehension yet tired beyond feeling.
This is probably my thirtieth attempt to start a simple journal, memoir, log or whatever you may call it. Something inside the last 29 weren’t good enough. Truthfully though, some terrible voice inside me has unfortunately convinced myself that there will always be a tomorrow and I’ve just realized its been lying. This could all possibly be due to my untimely departure from my most recent career. Going from comfortable and contemplating what to watch on HBO to not know where my next meal is coming from is a wake up call as well. Realizing how dependent I really am on someone else feeding me or shall I say employing me so I can eat.
This post could get deeper, but I’m going to leave it there. This is my today. This is my honesty, which unfortunately will anger some and I will loose many. This is my true and I hope you enjoy every post and every word.